Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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