i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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