Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Congratulations! We have a period
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
