I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
vagina is talking i cant
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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