Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Randomize
