Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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