I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
