This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
