uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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