You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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