p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
