do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
