i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
