I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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