You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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