Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
