Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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