I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
