remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
