Jerry, you need to find god
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
