The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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