remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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