Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
