why didn't you poke me back
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
