im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
