I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
