i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
