Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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