Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
