i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
