Me too!
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
