It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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