Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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