Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
We got so high we made milksteak
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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