I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
