I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize