he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
