She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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