Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I didn't notice because vodka
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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