Jerry, you need to find god
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
