He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
