Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
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