If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
babies were throwing up all over the place
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He felt like a one man threesome
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
