he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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