plz talk dirty to me
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
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