alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
