Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
My vagina just recognized that song.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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