I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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