you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
