is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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