Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
