Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
