Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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