Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
