At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
