I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize