I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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