with your own penis?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
